A client of mine often says to people “Mark’s the only coach I know who actually listens to you.” I find this at once gratifying and shocking. A lot of people, including some coaches, seem to think of “coaching” as primarily remedial, a problem-solving tool. I think this is a shame, because while coaching will certainly help you solve the problems you see in front of you, there’s a lot more available to you than that.
So here’s what I want to get off my chest.
At its most basic level coaching is about clarifying where you are, where you want to get to, what you need to do to get there, and being accountable. That’s essentially getting a to-do list in place and making sure it gets done, thus achieving the goal. This is in itself a valuable thing, and some coaching models focus mainly on this.
But the really juicy part of coaching comes in when you get stuck with any part of this process. Getting clear about things can itself be a big challenge. Thinking about what you actually want rather than why you can’t have it can be a big shift. Then there’s the myriad ways we hold ourselves back and trip ourselves up, stopping ourselves getting there. Coaching can help you deal with these rather than continuing to avoid and work round them.
And why is this so juicy? This is where the gold is, because
THE SAME THING WILL BE HAVING A NEGATIVE IMPACT ELSEWHERE IN YOUR LIFE.
Maybe even quite a few places. It’s just the start. So I regard problems as the way in to a whole realm of possibility. This is where the listening my client referred to comes in.
In this sense, problems are your friend. They show you the way.
